The Beginning

Early Days
My Christmas was blessed with the realization that I came to the understanding that my heart was empty because of sin. My trip to San Dimas Canyon on Christmas Eve was a trip that brought more than the sharing of gifts with my girlfriend.

After she shared with me my need to be Born Again, it was like a light went on within my dark cold soul. It was a light that brightly revealed the emptiness of my heart and life, and when she asked if I'd like to ask Jesus to come into my life, I jumped at the chance to have Him come into my life and change my heart.

What a Christmas gift I just received. It was a Christmas I'd never forget. Forty years later, I'm still thrilled with the joy of having Jesus come into my heart and changed the direction of my life.

The Calling
Later that evening, my girlfriend and I return to the campus of the century old Voorhos Mission in the hills of West Covina. We had both been there earlier that day, as I wanted to share with her the place I went to to find peace and solitude.

The mission was now locked down, and there were no people mulling around like earlier that afternoon. In a way it was spooky, as the mission was only lit by maybe five or six street lights.

As we drove through the campus, I was drawn by the need to go back to the sanctuary itself. The missions campus was built in a circular manner, and the street was a single lane, one way drive way. Of course the church itself was at the opposite end of the campus, so I drove slowly around the circular street, becoming more spooked by the eerie scenes being made by the shadows of very old California Oaks glistening in the light of December's full moon.

The blessings of this nights events were only in its infant stages, and as I slowly circled the mission's campus, my spiritual need to get to the church grew with each passing moment. What God had in store for me was special, and about to be revealed in the realm of the supernatural.

The Day After
The supernatural events that took place last night (12/24/1966) were unbelievable. So unbelievable, I spent the entire next day (Christmas) in quiet reflection. So much took place last night, that I would need time, lots of time, to digest everything that happened. The only thing I knew for sure about the things I went through at the mission's church and while I slept in my bed that night, was that yesterday at this time I was a nonbeliever; and today, well, I really believed in His power and ability to do the unexplainable.

I was sure of one thing know...God wanted me to serve Him in the ministry, and the things that unfold in the next 12 months only go to completely support the supernatural calling I was blessed to go through.

God was so real to me after what I experienced over the past ten hours, and I was now ready to the ends of the earth to follow Him and do His work here on earth.

Marriage and Divorce
You don't need to be a mind reader to know that I married the young lady that led me to Jesus on Christmas Eve 1966. The two of us were married in March 1967, and we officially ended our marriage in June 1977.

However, the years between brought forth two beautiful children. Paul (III) was born in July 1968, and Carrie was a March blessing in 1970. But, along with the joy of two beautiful children came the problems within our marriage which were no different than any other "Baby Boomer".

First of all, we married young. I was 20, and she was 16. Money was a mild to moderate concern with two young children coming so quickly in our marriage. But, the main problem was religion. While I went on to complete my BA in Religion, enter the ministry, and get closer to God: the light of my life went the other way. I was so consumed with studies, and than the demands of leading a congregation that I never noticed the subtle, but, ever increasing changes in our relationship. She actually wanted me to leave the minsitry, or she would leave me. I made a choice to stay in the minsitry, and she made good on her threat.

It was actually a surprise to me when she wanted a trial separation, in order to go out and drink and party with her friends from the bank where she was an assistant manager. It was frustrating, and the strain and stress of facing a divorce, and the potential fallout it would bring to my licensing and ordination process brought my world tumbling down.

When we finally split, and she filed for divorce, I was facing professional uncertainty, and at the request of my denomination's coordinator, I resigned my license, and ended my quest for ordination.



Anger consumed me. It ate away at what little faith in God I had remaining in my heart, and I turned my eyes towards self gratification through porn and hookers. It was no secret that the world of porn and paid for sex meant I didn't have to expose my heart to more potential hurt at the hands of another woman.

I knew this was wrong, according to God's word, but, at this time in my life, I felt God had deserted me, and I wanted to "get even" with Him while I put as much distance between Him and me.

Don't get me wrong. My experiments with porn and paid sex started at least a year before my marriage officially ended in 1976. While she was going home to her parents in Texas for long periods of time, I turned to the fleshly urges within, and allowed illicit sexual sin to get its foothold in my life. I was not a saint by any means...I was human, and that scared me more than anything else.

Just how could my life go so far from its initial calling? After all, I had the supernatural events of Christmas Eve to nail my faith to. I had the supernatural events that led to my being honorably discharged from the US Army, and keeping me from being sent to Viet Nam. I had the supernatural experience of seeing my college grades go from 1.57 in Junior College, to 3.88 at Azusa Pacific as I studied for the ministry. This supernatural turnaround in academic abilities was yet another sign from God that He had called me from out of the blue, and wanted me in the ministry. But marital failure was clouding my faith, and leading me down a dangerous path.

One would think that with all of these supernatural events unfolding in the course of my first tens years of spiritual life and marriage, that I'd be strong as a rock. To this day, I can't understand how the devil got such a strong hold of my heart, but he did, and now I was out on the street, so to speak, and starting a new life separate of God, my wife, my children, and the ministry I once knew I was called for.

*The Author of this Blog is REv. Paul G. Zimmer, II. Below are brief descriptions of his two current releases. If you like whatyou've read. go to the places lsited below to order your copies of the books.

Prodigal Daze outlines my call to the ministry; divorce; struggle with sexual sin and pornography; attempted suicide; and God's forgiveness and how He brought me back to His Kingdom and my return to the ministry.

Thorn Daze shares my battle to understand and live with multiple chronic diseases over the past 25 years. It shares my frustration with God in trying to get healed through applying the works of prosperity teaching to my life. I sadly discovered that while it is true that God does heal many believers, there are still those who carry thorn of pain and suffering throughout their life. And for these believers, God grants a lifetime of unconditional grace.

Both books are available on line at finer bookstores like BanresandNoble.com, Buy.com, or Amazon.com.